Discovering Tea

My family heirlooms are not what you'd call "typical." At least, they don't seem typical to me. When I think about other people's heirlooms I imagine some of the pieces I've lusted over in the antique store that made me wish someone in my family had saved something like them for me. I don't have many of that sort of heirloom but what I do have is very precious to me, and I hope, will be to my children and grandchildren in the future. Today I want to tell you about one of my dearest family heirlooms and a new family tradition which are related both to one another and, in a round-about way, to TEA.

*Photo above by Whitney Ensom

Let me first explain our new tradition. It all started with Rachel's tea-party-themed birthday party last month. It was fun to plan, the event itself was a blast and it was deemed a grand success by all. My youngest sister, Laura Joy, was here to help with bathing the birthday girl, helping party guests choose what would go on their hat and then washing up the dishes while I said good-bye to each little guest. She loaded the dishwasher but there were still dishes left that wouldn't fit so she hand-washed the tea cups and saucers, turning each one upside down on a towel to dry.


I'm embarassed to say that these tea cups and saucers were STILL THERE the next afternoon, looking so pretty laid out all in a row, just as I imagine the sideboard of a Victorian lady's kitchen might look after a sweet tea party. That's when inspiration struck. I had been casting about for some time for a way to spend time with my girls in a positive way that would be conducive to conversation and that could become normal in a habitual sort of way, hopefully lasting well into the days of later girlhood when open conversation between girls and their mothers can become rather strained. The tea cups and saucers were there, and so was the inspiration...so I dove in.

"Would you girls like to have a tea party?" I asked my daughters. Their eyes lit up.

Since that day we have missed only about 4 days of our now-daily "tea party." That means we have already had a couple dozen of these informal but precious affairs and it has become, really and truly, a habit. I hesitated to tell you about it here on the blog right at first, just in case we fell off and stopped doing it. But it has continued and I don't see it stopping.


Here's what happens. Miss Emily walks in from school about 2:35. We live across the street from the school and I could very nearly throw her into the schoolyard from my own yard so it is a very nice, safe arrangement. One of us, usually Emily says, "Let's have our tea party!" (which is so much nicer to hear than her former whined, "I'm huuuuuungry....."). I ask for the t.v. to be turned off and the girls to wash their hands while I gather up the tea things. Since I got my Vintage Party Swap package from Natalea we've gotten even a little bit more fancy, but our tea parties always involve a real tea cup and saucer for each person and a plate of snacks for us to share. I didn't intend for this, but it has become a very fun, relaxed way to learn good manners! We talk about "tea party manners" and have fun reminding one another to keep our feet off our chairs, not talk with our mouths open and say "excuse me!" when burping. We all make fun of Andrew, who is 18 months, and MUST attend our tea parties but who does very "un-tea-party-ish" things like throwing food, yelling and putting his feet on the table. The girls of course think this is hysterical and enjoy telling him how "rude" he is, which he of course giggles at. We ask one another how our days have been, hear stories of Emily's school adventures and just spend time talking with one another. I had no idea how wonderful this would be and how much the girls would enjoy it...or how much I would enjoy it. "Tea" is of course just juice or water in a tea cup but one of the girls acted surprised the other day when they saw me putting water in their tea cup. "I thought it was tea!" she said, which shows just how magical this whole thing really is.
And then, just the other day, I found the card. If you were sitting here beside me while I tell you about this, you would notice me getting a little teary at this point in the story.

We are still bringing things in from our garage that we have had in storage from the move, including some boxes we had on high shelves in the old house and just pulled down, loaded up and put in the new garage without looking through them. But now we are bringing these boxes in, going through them to see if we want to save the contents, and finding new homes for things here in the house. We have found all sorts of fun "treasures," as you can imagine, but one of the more special finds was an envelope that said "To My Darling Daughter" in my handwriting.


I opened it up of course and read the card. The date on the card is 1995 and I wrote it as an almost-freshman in college while on a family vacation in Monterey. The "darling daughter" I refer to in this card was of course only in my dreams at that point. But now, in 2008, I tear up when I read it, because now I am the mother to not one but two darling girls. Here's just a snippet, which of course gave me chills when I read it. It was written by a very young 18-year-old who was no doubt idealizing motherhood, having "baby cravings" and feeling emotional about her future. But it's me.

The card makes reference to a miniature teaset I bought that day in 1995, with my then-fictitious daughter in mind. I found that teaset right before Rachel's party in February and though I couldn't remember at the time where I'd gotten it, I remembered that it was significant in some way. It turned out to be perfect for the "doll table" at Rachel's party, which you may remember from in these photos from the party.


So when I found the card, I realized how very special this little tea set is and I've displayed it on our side table in the dining room. And though it's precious to me, it's also fair game for little people to play with, since that is what it was intended for, after all! You can see from this photo, which I SWEAR I didn't stage, that even Andrew understands what a teacup is for! In the middle of playing with trucks he went and got this tea cup (and saucer!), brought it over to the coffee table and promptly began having his own tea party! Needless to say, I grabbed the camera as quickly as I could!! I promised more posts about "family heirlooms" this week and this may be the only one for this week. We've got a house full of sickies here, unfortunately, and blogging may not happen again for a few days. But I promise to get back to this subject next week, since I have lots more to show and tell!

In the meantime, grab a couple tea cups, someone you love and start a tradition...

p.s. Look at this sweet little graphic from Heather of Pretty Petals! LOVE IT!