Friday, September 21, 2007

Change is in the wind...

I'm not sure what it is...

The weather has shifted; perhaps that's it.

But no, it's more than that. Fall IS in the air, at least temporarily. But there's a change inside me, as well. My baby is mobile. I found him in his bouncer chair the other morning...just kneeling in there, looking at me as if to say, "Not sure how I got here, but aren't I wonderful!" Good heavens! Is this what having a boy means??? My girls never climbed! Yesterday he pulled up to standing by himself, holding on to the couch. Today he pulled up to standing by grabbing the skin on my legs. Tomorrow he'll be taking steps, holding onto the furniture, I'm sure. If not tomorrow, the next day.
Perhaps this "shift" I feel has something to do with my baby learning to feed himself. He turns his head away from most "baby food" but will eat almost anything I chop up into tiny pieces on the table for him. Picks it up in his chubby fingers and (usually) gets it into his own mouth. He pulverizes it oh-so-slowly with his four teeth. Does this sound tedious? Well it is! A meal around here takes between a half hour and an hour. I spend at least a couple hours of each day, sitting at the table next to him, watching his little fingers pick up tiny bits of food and his little mouth work each bite carefully. Sometimes our six-year-old does her reading aloud while the baby eats his dinner. Sometimes I talk on the phone while I feed him. But mostly I sit and watch him eat. I feel like I am wading through mud. But maybe it's just a slower pace...
That's it, I think. My pace has slowed and it's not by my own choice so it feels a bit uncomfortable. I am normally more like a bee, buzzing from one flower to the next, always moving, always in motion, always on its way to the "next thing." I flit from washing machine to sink to computer to toilet to wipe a bottom to changing table to computer to stove to....well you get the idea. My slower time is usually at night when the kids are in bed. I sit in front of the t.v. and embroider or glue or, if I'm lucky, eat dessert. My mind is still moving but my body gets to slow down. But this new phase is causing me to slow my body down when it's accustomed to moving, getting done, accomplishing. And there's a bit of a "rub" there as my internal pace learns to change.I feel some other changes, though. I am looking at my art differently. The ideas filling my mind are new and they are deeper somehow. They come from a more emotional place and are more spiritual in nature. I am thinking less about what people will buy and more about "putting into words," with my hands, my needle, my sewing machine and my art supplies, things that are in my head and my heart. What makes me think that this might be related to the shift in my family is that the ideas I'm mulling over that are making their way into my work are almost all connected to motherhood, the bond between sisters, creativity and the spiritual life. And anyone who knows me personally knows that those things are closest to my heart. And this shift feels good. This feels "right." This feels like I have found a door I've been looking for for a long time and am striding toward it. I'm not through it yet but I know it's the right door and I am taking steps in the direction of it.
So I don't have any photos of new things I working on. I would love to let you peek into my mind and see what's in store but since that's not possible, I will have to wait to show you until I can bring them to life. But I thought it was time for a post that's a bit more honest, a bit more authentic (not that my other posts are deceptive!) and hopefully give someone else a bit of hope that they are not alone in whatever the slightly-uncomfortable-but-still-really-great place that they're in. Change is uncomfortable, but change is good, right? We'll just keep telling ourselves that and eventually we'll believe it!





21 comments:

The Rose Room said...

He's beautiful! Enjoy because soon you will be running after him! Rachaelxo

Heather ~ Pretty Petals said...

What an absolutly beautiful post!! I love hearing about your little world and I can just picture it in my mind with you sitting there while that sweet one learns his new skill!

xoxo Heather

ArtsyMama said...

Love this post and the photos are absolutely gorgeous. I also feel a shift coming in my art. Not sure where it's going to lead, but I feel that I need to get a bit deeper, more authentic with it. Can't wait to see what you're working on. You put so many things into words that have been going through my head as well. You are such an introspective and caring artist. Beautiful!
Cheers to you!
Kari

Chi Chi La La Designs said...

Hi Cheryl,
Firstly thanks so much for stopping by & your lovely comments. Your baby is just gorgeous - those cheeks! They must get pinchend & kissed alot :)It sounds like you might have a nanny goat on your hands & from first hand experience it's not just boys - my youngest Chloe was a climber & certainly gave us some heart stopping moments when we had to pull her off tops of cupboards, bookcases etc!! Have a wonderful weekend.
Nikki

Mélanie said...

He's beautiful . Wonderful pictures. Thank you for sharing

Rachel said...

I love all the pictures~ he is so cute!!

Sweet Cottage Dreams said...

Sweet, sincere and thoughtful! Change is good. We just have to be able to accept it.

Your projects are always so sweet! Keep up the great work!

hugs,

Becky

Amy at Bunny Rose Cottage said...

Oh Cheryl, is he ever precious! I have never had a girl. But I can tell you that your little guy sounds just like my five boys!! He is perfect and isnt it fun to watch them learn and grow? Beautiful post. It sounds like you are learning from him too!

Hugs,
Amy

Dee Light said...

What a cutie!!! Boys are so different from girls, but they are oh so fun!!!

melissa @ the inspired room said...

Thanks to your sweet comment on my blog, I am thrilled to have the opportunity to have found you. Your blog is so wonderful, I've really enjoyed looking at it and reading your words. And your move towards authenticity in your craft is of course near and dear to my heart, since it is the philosophy I have built my business on as well. I will definitely look forward to more of your posts and ideas!

Your son is precious! Mine is now seven, and my girls are pretty much grown, but I always have a pitter patter in my heart for the little ones!

Lastly, I am really wanting to start embroidering! I have been itching to try it for a long time. I can see that I will get my inspiration here, you do lovely work.

I am so glad you came by and commented, it is delightful to meet you.

Melissa

karin (creativechaos) said...

I love this post Cheryl....As mothers we change and shift a bit as our babies change and grow.....as artist we do the same......can't wait to see what your brewing! :)

karin (creativechaos) said...

Oh...and the boy thing.....just let me tell you about them boys...hahahaha HA.. :0) this is only the beginning!!!!

Alison Gibbs said...

That gorgeous little man has to be one of your best artworks!!
Alison

Christine said...

oh, he's such a handsome little guy...life moves much too fast...these are the days that memories are made of.
...enjoy...
thank you for coming to visit me Cheryl, so nice of you.
C.

Lori said...

oooh, that SWEET face :) your baby boy is a little doll! yes change is good...and i agree about worrying what what people will buy and trying to cater to that, it can be very frustrating and stifling...i am happier just making what i love and then hoping someone else will come along who feels the same...this was a lovely, insightful, and inspiring post, thanks for sharing this with us...

Jennifer said...

Cheryl,
This is such a BEAUTIFUL post!!!! Not only of your son's pictures but of what you speaks from your heart. I cant wait to see what you create while changing and evolving as an artist. I cant speak for everyone, but I think alot of us keep growing and evolving. I try my best not to "keep up" and race thru my work for a quick sell. I try to enjoy the process, and like Lori commented Im happy creating what I love, and hope others will love and enjoy my work as well. :)
Thanks for sharing with us sweets!
XO,
Jenn

Allison said...

Ooh, I just want to nibble those cheeks!!! What a kissable, adorable little guy!!

Natalea said...

what a sweet post and sweet little boy! so, so cute!
xo natalea

Cathy Louise said...

what a beautiful post...I so enjoyed reading and seeing these absolutely gorgeous images... You are very blessed...I think it is very important that what you create comes from the depth of your heart... Can't wait to see your beautiful new creations....
take care Cathy

Cece Marie said...

Oh Cheryl! He's so beautiful! I'm so happy to finally have the time tonight to sit down and really enjoy your blog. I am happy for you that your creations are feeling more personal and with less concern about how they are received. I am working on adopting that frame of mind as well.

RachaelEnsomFrance said...

I didn't see these pics until just now! He is sooo yummy!!!